Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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