Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
