So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
