So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
