I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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