i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
