Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize