Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
