And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
