i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
