Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize