She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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