i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He better not be in your backpack
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
