Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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