can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize