It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
