If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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