i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
