I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You brought string cheese to the strip club
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
