I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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