Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
false alarm, still single
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