we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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