Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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