So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
