fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
