I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize