God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
