im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i came on her dog
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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