winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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