Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
