he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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