btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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