Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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