I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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