After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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