how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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