My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
