if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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