my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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