Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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