Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize