I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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