So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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