Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
