I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
