honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize