awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
being pregnant is like rehab
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
