Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
