I'm really into asian looking animals
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
