Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
