If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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