My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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