remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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