Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
