trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Your penis caused this!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
