Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
