You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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