butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
