I think I died a long time ago.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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