No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
